Maria from California:
Dear Nessa and Ryan,
My question is regarding interracial relationships. I’ve been following your blog for a few weeks now and I noticed that Nessa is Thai and Ryan is Italian/Russian. I guess my question is a bit dumb, but did anyone in your family have a problem when you first told them about one another? I am Mexican and my boyfriend is black. My parents do not know about him but I know they would be extremely unhappy if they found out, especially my father. Do you think it’s okay to go against your parents wishes when you are dating? I just do not find Mexican men attractive at all.
Hi there. No, I did not get any grief from my family. I grew up with parents who embraced other cultures; we kind of had to since we were part of a minority culture ourselves. No one said anything to me when I introduced him to the family. In fact, they welcomed him with open arms and took him in immediately. Actually, we got more stares from other Asians and Caucasians when were out in public. Really, everybody stares, but I don’t care. I just take that opportunity to hold him tighter, or grab his butt, depending on what kind of look they give us.
I can understand the position you’re in having to choose between your boyfriend and your family. If you feel he is the one, you’ll know what you have to do. Ultimately, your happiness is all that matters.
I don’t think it’s wrong to go against your parents’ wishes (when it comes to relationships and who you date), especially since you cannot really control what you do or don’t like. I also do not feel you need to worry about even introducing your boyfriends unless you are very serious about them. And I do not mean serious like, you have been dating for 2 months and you love him so much, you are soulmates, then a week later you dump him serious. I mean, possibly, if you guys are thinking about getting engaged, introduce the guy to your parents. Why purposely stress your father out bringing home random black men you are screwing?
Also, I have never really had any issues with Nessa being Asian. My family was open and accepted her with no issues at all. We do live in a stuffy town and neighborhood though, because I believe we are known as the “interracial couple”, or so I’ve heard.