Freaky search terms, where we post our most outrageous search terms that people used to find our website. Ryan and I will then share our own thoughts and hopefully entertain you guys or at least make the search term make a little less sense.
Each search term was gathered by wordpress and/or google statistics and they are all very real search terms. Each search term was used by some person in the world that ended up on our page.
10) meaning of two woman doing a double blow job on male
Nessa: That can only mean one thing: lucky!
9) i need a female ass i can look at while i rub my dick all nude
Nessa: Well buddy, you’ve come to the right place!
Ryan: We’ve got a great selection of asses: round asses, jiggly asses, flat asses – you name it.
Nessa: Ass is the fruit of the sea. You can barbecue it, boil it, broil it, bake it, saute it. Dey’s uh, ass-kabobs, ass creole, ass gumbo. Pan fried, deep fried, stir-fried. There’s pineapple ass, lemon ass, coconut ass, pepper ass, ass soup, ass stew, ass salad, ass and potatoes, ass burger, ass sandwich. That- that’s about it.
Nessa: Yummy, so hungry all the sudden!
8) lets talk about our hairy balls
Nessa: This sounds like a pamphlet at a doctor’s office.
Ryan: Right next to “The Human Penis: The Science Behind Your Sperm Tunnel”
Nessa: And “Mommy, why do I cry on my period?”
Ryan: Don’t forget “Prostate Massages: The Inner Workings of Your Anus”
7) when i knew i was at the back of her throat i shot my load wow!
Nessa: This guy’s reaction is great. It’s like he just wants to emphasize how excited he was. Tadoww!
Ryan: I know that feeling. I get it when I facefuck you. Shazam!
Nessa: And similarly, I love facefucking. Zippadeedodah!
6) anal cum swallow being judged
Nessa: This is a judge-free zone. If you swallow cum that came out of someone’s ass, no one will judge you.
Ryan: I give your response a solid 9 Nessa.
Nessa: You give my response a solid 8 for sure.
Nessa: Aww, are you blushing?
5) tickle and fuck her good
Nessa: Tickle? To me, getting tickled is very painful and excruciating. So how about no! For me that is like, “Punch her in the face with your hands dipped in glue and glass and then fuck her good”
Ryan: Or “Pull out her fingernails and teeth with pliers and then make slow sweet love to her”
4) why do penis tickle my vagina
Nessa: Ok wait…is “tickle” slang for something?
Ryan: Kids these days. I can never keep up with the new lingo.
Nessa: Ryan, your penis doesn’t tickle me, jack. I think it’s dyn-o-mite!
Ryan: Listen here, jive turkey. I can dig it.
Nessa: Me too, sucka!
3) x-hamster struggle of baseball girl
Nessa: Ouch! I saw one of these a long time ago. I wonder if that’s the same one.
Ryan: Probably not. I can’t imagine how many more chicks have stuck baseball bats in their vaginas on camera now, with cellphones and cam sites being commonplace.
Nessa: “Baseball Girl 2: The 2nd Inning, 2 Balls No Strikes, Starring Lance Armstrong and Tom Green”
Ryan: “Baseball Girl 3: The 3rd Inning, 3 Balls 1 Strike, starring Dan Abrams and Mr Hands.
Nessa: “Baseball Girl 4: The 4th Inning, Baseball Girl vs. Pickle Jar Boy”
Nessa: I know right!
Ryan: “Baseball Girl 5: The 5th Inning, Balls and Bases Loaded”
Nessa: “Baseballs Girl 6: The 6th Inning, Pitching A No Hitter, Girls Only Soft(balls) starring Caitlyn Jenner”
Ryan: I’d watch it.
Nessa:You bet your ass we wood!
Ryan: I see what you did there, wood, baseball bat. I’m catching what you’re throwing.
Nessa: “Baseballs Girl 9: The 9th Inning Stretch, MANDINGO UP TO BAT”
2) my husband is cheating on me with a man but he has a big cock big cock gay sex porn
Nessa: This term seems to imply that it would be okay for him to cheat because it’s gay sex.
Ryan: She also implies that it’s okay because one of them has a big cock. Like, if your cheating with an Asian, that relationship is OVER.
Nessa: We definitely do not condone cheating, but guys, if you’re going to cheat, make sure he’s got at least 8 inches and above. If he doesn’t, you’re just a filthy man-whore.
1) my wife don’t want my dick she wants pig dick porn
Ryan: Looks like he’s been outdone by Babe.
Nessa: She wants a little oinker in her Charlotte’s Web