Freaky search terms, where we post our most outrageous search terms that people used to find our website. Ryan and I will then share our own thoughts and hopefully entertain you guys or at least make the search term make a little less sense.
Each search term was gathered by wordpress and/or google statistics and they are all very real search terms. Each search term was used by some person in the world that ended up on our page.
10) Free wife catches me sucking dick / free husbands getting caught sucking cock stories
Nessa: Give US US OUR FREEDOMS!
Ryan: Amistad. If you don’t get it, you don’t get us…
Ryan: Braveheart. Boom.
Nessa: Cause I’m FREEEEEEEEE… FREEEEEEEEE FALLLLLL…
Ryan: Jerry Maguire. Too easy.
Nessa: Bullshit, you can be mine!
Ryan: What the hell does that have to do with free?
Nessa: So you don’t know?
Ryan: Top Gun. Easy. But what the hell does that have to do with free?
Nessa: I’m free to use whatever quotes I want to bitch.
Nessa: Ha! Gotttttem!
9) difference between a tight pussy and a pussy that has been fucked big time
Nessa: I got this one, Ryan. A tight pussy means she’s dry, unhorny, and not turned on, which means the guy didn’t do his job. He didn’t eat her out, there was no foreplay, and he just stuck his dick in her the same way he probably stuck his dick in a gym sock when he was a kid. A pussy that has “been fucked big time” is just as “loose” as pussy that’s wet from her own juices from being turned on.
Ryan: Preach to him…
Nessa: A pussy that has “been fucked big time” is just as “loose” as pussy that’s wet from her own juices from being turned on.
Nessa: Lord, save this demon from his evil misguided teenage thoughts of loose pussy!
Ryan: Good little sermon Nessa, but you’re still tight as fuck though, wet or not. Just saying.
Nessa: Blasphemous… but thank you. 🙂
8) she had no idea i was recording us fucking porn
Nessa: Oddly, we’ve never had anyone search “HE had no idea i was recording us fucking porn”
Ryan: Yea, because that would never happen.
Nessa: This is how we fuuuuck.
7) suggestions on small penis teasing
Ryan: Okay, I will try a few suggestions. “Well, I bet it’s bigger in a more natural lighting. Let’s turn the lights off and see how it looks when neither of us can see it.”
Nessa: Zzzzzzzzzzzz. Are you done yet? Maybe you should write that speech down on paper so you don’t forget it?
Ryan: Well fuck, how about: “With a little bit of water, a little bit of sunshine, and a whole lot of love, I bet it will grow to be a big boy penis one day.”
Nessa: How about: “Damn your little ass cock looks like a cervix.”
Ryan: Ugh. Jumped a few steps there huh?
Nessa: “Do you ever finger yourself when you are horny?”
Nessa: Uh huh, just keep your pants on when it’s cold out. You don’t want none of this…
Ryan: … 🙁
Nessa: Awww, want me to suck on your peepee and pretend to gag to make you feel bigger…I mean better?
Ryan: Wow, really? Now you’re just being mean. You wouldn’t gag on a fucking bat.
Nessa: Yea, but I learned playing tee-ball with you Ryan.
Ryan: You’re damn right you did.
Ryan: Wait, I have no idea if that was an insult or a compliment, but I think it sounded good.
Nessa: My little Louisville Tugger.
Ryan: Hmm..still kind of somewhere in the middle there.
Nessa: Oh Ryan, you know you have a horse cock.
Nessa: My little pony for sure!
Ryan: Okay…thank you…and fuck you. You can pick which response fits better than I can. On to the next search term PLEASE.
6) are there any deepthroat porn videos where you can clearly see the dick in her throat
Nessa: I hear you buddy. I’m not convinced the penis is actually going down her throat unless I can clearly see it.
Ryan: Truthfully, until I felt it myself, I didn’t know what deepthroating was either. It’s one of those things that once you feel it, the tight hole in the back, the tighter throat, fuck. No blow job will ever be complete if a girl can’t give me that sensation. I won’t lie.
Nessa: Like how you thought women peed from the same hole that the penis penetrates?
Ryan: Kind of embarrassing you are going to blog that, but yea, kind of like that.
Ryan: Uh, you thought the same thing I did. Don’t try to front for the blog!
Nessa: I knew where my pee came from Ryan. Try again.
Ryan: Of course you did, you just didn’t know where my dick was going. At all. Rookie!
Nessa: They don’t teach that type of stuff in health class Ryan. I blame the public school system!
Ryan: Well listen, let’s figure this out together. Let’s load google and put in, “are there any sex porn videos where you can clearly see the dick in her vagina”
Nessa: I see what you did there Ryan. Gooood…very good.
5) tears and jizz dripped on my balls as i facefucked the sobbing boy
Ryan: Yay, story time!
Nessa: Yes, gooooood. Keep going.
4) wemen deepthroating the bigest dicks in the whole wide world
Ryan: Damn man.
Nessa: I think our readers are size whores.
Ryan: Do you think?!
3) show a picture of man sucking a another man penis
Nessa: This guy is very demanding isn’t he? Where are his manners?
Ryan: He does seems extremely abusive to his search engine.
Nessa: “please show a picture of man sucking a another man penis”
Ryan: Maybe he was talking to Siri?
Nessa: “Siri, please show a picture of man sucking a another man penis”
2) deepthroat c** in her throat / c** drips out of a woman’s pussy into a man’s mouth
Nessa: I hate it when people use talk to text to search.
Nessa: Because the censored word could be anything. “deepthroat cat in her throat”…?
Ryan: True. I’d be pretty impressed if someone found our site by searching “deepthroat cot in her throat.”
Nessa: “cow drips out of a woman’s pussy into a man’s mouth”
1) my wife is very good at deepthroating
Nessa: Aww, that’s sweet of him to say that about his wife
Ryan: It’s like he just wants the Internetz to know that she’s good at deepthroating.