Q&A: Did He Go To Far During Sex? He Stuck A Gun Inside me.

He stuck a gun inside me during sex.  Did he go to far? Sex and Guns.

I told him he could use whatever he wanted as long as it was clean and wouldn’t hurt (makes no difference to me, it doesn’t turn me on so as long as it’s not anything big we’re good). I was on the bed, on my knees with my chest and face down on the bed (butt in the air) so I couldn’t see him. Well, he got his gun out of the nightstand and put it inside of me. I asked what it was and he asked if I liked it. I pulled away and flipped around and it was in his hand and he was laughing! I told him that was fucked up and he said it wasn’t loaded but I don’t believe him.

Did he go too far or was it my fault for saying he could use (almost) anything? I honestly never even thought about the gun otherwise I would have told him not to use it. I’m kind of angry at him over this.

Nessa’s response to sex and guns
The really fucked up thing about this is that he laughed when he saw your reaction. He definitely wanted exactly that type of reaction from you by not telling you. What’s even worse, he turned an intimate moment, a moment where he was given your complete trust, and turned it into a laughable experience for him. How could he ever expect to be given free sexual trust reign again? If you do decide to let him “use anything” in you, be ready to take ANYTHING: a ziplock of leftovers, a bag of mud, or a animal shaped horse dildo. 

Sex and the things you do with your partner should be things you are comfortable with.  If you are angry, talk to him and let him know that putting a gun inside you, unloaded or not, is not something you are comfortable with.  I trust my husband, but part of that trust is knowing he wouldn’t attempt to shove anything that could hurt me.  It’s not your fault this happened, but because the communication wasn’t clear, things got a little carried away.  Make sure you are very clear with what you want shoved inside your vagina from here on out, and take this as a lesson learned.  Sometimes men go a little too far if you let them, so nip this in the bud so he isn’t shoving his collectors edition samurai sword in you next!  Sex and Guns.

Ryan’s response to sex and guns
This one is pretty straight forward.  First of all, a gun in a night stand is not clean.  It has all types of bacteria, oils, and grease that definitely do not belong inside your vagina.  They have dildos made from certain materials that aren’t safe to be inside you, so a gun definitely is not clean or safe.  He crossed a line.  You made it clear it had to be clean.

Communicate with him and let him know that you are not cool with having guns shoved up your vagina. I noticed that you said him shoving objects in you doesn’t turn you on.  Sometimes when people are disinterested, but still let their partner do things to them, they try to communicate or “teach” their partner that they are not “turned on” by certain things by having no real reaction or showing disinterest.  This is not how you communicate.  In their minds, they think showing disinterest will lead to him not wanting to explore his kink or do that type of thing again.  Showing disinterest will not be good for either of you. If you were showing interest, he probably wouldn’t try to shove something in you that would shocked a reaction out of you.  It may just be a cry for attention, or an angry attempt at showing you that if you don’t care what is in your vagina, then he doesn’t either.  Not saying he is right in what he did, because he is not.  I am just trying to figure out why he would shove a gun in you.  I think getting any type of response was his goal.  He got it.  A gun seems to be an “angry object.”  As a man, I get the thrill of it, but part of the thrill for me is Nessa accepting it.  Maybe make an agreement that prior to sticking things inside you he lets you know what it is.  This seems safer than playing dildo Russian roulette with your back turned waiting to find out what the object he decides to shove inside you  is until after he pulls it out.  It also may help that you show more interest in his kinks and maybe react to his ideas or his excitement in seeing things slide inside you.  Being passive aggressive and unenthusiastic is one of the biggest factors in ruining a sex life.  Pay attention to what he is sliding in you.  Show enthusiasm towards his excitement.   If you were watching, you would have said “no” as soon as he touched his gun.Sex and Guns.