Q&A: I am 27 and I just found my penis! A frenulum?

I think I just found my penis!

So I’m watching a doc on netflix about american circumcision and this one guy is talking about the vast amount of nerve endings in the foreskin and that little piece of skin between the shaft and back of the head. Talking about how he can orgasm by simply running his fingers around certain parts of it. I didn’t believe it. Well a few hours later the fiance and I are fooling around and while taking a bit of an air and water break I bring this up. Asked her to try out some light teasing of the foreskin and oral but fixated more on a sucking motion as opposed to classic porn head bobbing/gagging. Her tongue was was focusing on that little piece of skin on the back of the shaft/head and OHMYGOD. I had feelings climbing through my legs and back that I had never experienced before, followed by one of the best orgasms of my life. I guess I’m making this post to say to people that theres a lot going on with that little piece of skin (fervelum?) A shit ton of nerve endings (very sensitive) and if done correctly can definately help orgasming. I’ve always had a hard time having orgasms from receiving oral as I tend to like to be in control and focus much more on her but I had no control over it this time at all. She’s thrilled she’s got a trick to get me off now and I just learned something new about my penis.

Nessa’s response regarding frenulum
Congratulations on finding your frenulum!  I think a lot of us have these moments in our lives when something so simple is only “simple” after we discover it.  I learned from Ryan after he got a piercing that this was his hidden g spot.  Sometimes I sit between Ryan’s legs and give him oil massages, ie a hand jobs.  I will hold his penis with two hands and place my upper hand so my thumb is right on his frenulum.  As I stroke, my thumb will rub up and down over his frenulum and penis hole.  This is the sensation he enjoys the most and it’s probably because of all the nerve endings in that area.  If it took you 27 years to discover your own penis, imagine how many things you probably haven’t discovered about your woman’s vagina. Get to exploring!

A past article we wrote regarding your frenulum being a secret spot most men and women do not know about.   Give your man a Woman’s orgasm.

Ryan’s response regarding frenulum
It’s your frenulum.  And I’d like to make sure people understand, cut men also have a frenulum.  It’s not always a piece of meat you can feel or see.  But if you simply rub your finger on the under side of your glans penis, it will feel especially good. That’s your frenulum, or where your frenulum was located if you were uncut.  It wasn’t until I was in my 30s that I understood that this area was responsible for a lot of the sensations I enjoy during sex, oral sex, or hand jobs.  I believe my awakening was when I pierced my frenulum. Although my penis and frenulum should have been sore, I remember stroking and the “sore” pain of a new piercing made it feel so much better.  I have since removed the piercing because deepthroating, anal, and various other sex acts don’t seem as safe for Nessa. I wouldn’t feel comfortable with her deepthroating or having anal sex with a piercing on my penis. However, masturbation and sex felt much better with it on.  Mainly because it was directly on my frenulum and it created more movement and stimulation in that area.   Anyway, I am glad you finally found your penis.   Good work detective.

Outercourse with Gifs

What is Outercourse?

Non-penetrative sex or outercourse is sexual activity that usually does not include sexual penetration. It generally excludes the penetrative aspects of vaginal, anal, or oral sexual activity, but includes various forms of sexual and non-sexual activity, such as frottage, mutual masturbation, kissing, or cuddling. Some forms of non-penetrative sex, particularly when termed outercourse, include penetrative aspects, such as penetration that may result from forms of fingering or oral sex.

People engage in non-penetrative sex for a variety of reasons, including as a form of foreplay or as a primary or preferred sexual act. Heterosexual couples may engage in non-penetrative sex as an alternative to penile-vaginal penetration, to preserve virginity, or as a type of birth control.  Same-sex couples may also engage in non-penetrative sex to preserve virginity, with gay males using it as an alternative to anal penetration.

Although sexually transmitted infections (STIs/STDs) such as herpes, HPV, and pubic lice can be transmitted through non-penetrative genital-genital or genital-body sexual activity, non-penetrative sex may be used as a form of safer sex because it is less likely that body fluids (the main source of STI/STD transmission) will be exchanged during the activities, especially with regard to aspects that are exclusively non-penetrative.

Frottage

Frot: two men rubbing their penises together to create sexual sensations

Frottage is the general term for the act of rubbing any part of the body, including the buttocks, the breasts, abdomen, thighs, feet, hands, legs and sexual organs against the sexual organ of another person; this is done whether naked or clothed and is more commonly known as dry humping or dry sex. When frottage includes genital-genital rubbing, it is sometimes called genito-genital or GG rubbing.

Couples may engage in frottage as a form of foreplay or simply as a method to achieve sexual gratification without the penetrative aspects of vaginal, anal or oral sex, which may also be their personal way of preserving virginity or their way of practicing safer sex. Often, young people will engage in frottage as an earlier stage of sexual intimacy before their idea of more explicit sexual contact is desired.

Other terms associated with frottage are:

  • Princeton rub, Ivy League rub, and so on are slang terms referring to male-male frot or intercrural sex or both, presumably surviving from the days when these colleges only admitted men.  W. H. Auden was proud of having been the first person to use the terms Princeton rub and Princeton first-year in print.
  • The term frottage derives from the French verb frotter (i.e., to rub). Three terms derive from frotter. These include frottage, the sexual act involving rubbing; frot, the sexual act that refers exclusively to male-male genital rubbing without penetration (but may also be referred to as frottage); and frotteurism, a paraphilia involving obsession with frottage or performing frottage non-consensually (e.g., pressing one’s genitals against a stranger on a crowded subway); this was once called “frottage,” but the usage is no longer acceptable.

Mutual masturbation

Mutual masturbation (also called manual intercourse) usually involves the manual stimulation of genitals by two or more people who stimulate themselves or one another. This may be done in situations where the participants do not feel ready, physically able, socially at liberty, or willing to engage in any penetrative sex act, or a particular penetrative sex act, but still wish to engage in a mutual sexual activity. It is also done as part of a full repertoire of sexual activity, where it may be used as foreplay, while, for others, it is the primary sexual activity of choice.

Types of mutual masturbation include the handjob (the manual sexual stimulation of the penis or scrotum by a person on a male) and fingering (the manual sexual stimulation of the vagina, clitoris or other parts of the vulva, by a person on a female). Sexual stimulation of the genitals by using the feet may also be included, and so may manual stimulation of the anus.

Like frottage in general, mutual masturbation may be used as an alternative to penile-vaginal penetration, to preserve virginity or to prevent pregnancy. It might result in one or more of the partners achieving orgasm. If no bodily fluids are exchanged (as is common), mutual masturbation is a form of safe sex, and greatly reduces the risk of transmission of sexual diseases.

In partnered manual genital stroking to reach orgasm or expanded orgasm, both people focus on creating and experiencing an orgasm in one person. Typically, one person lies down pant-less, while his or her partner sits alongside. The partner who is sitting uses his or her hands and fingers (typically with a lubricant) to slowly stroke the penis or clitoris and other genitals of the partner. Expanded orgasm as a mutual masturbation technique reportedly creates orgasm experiences more intense and extensive than what can be described as, or included in the definition of, a regular orgasm. It includes a range of sensations that include orgasms that are full-bodied, and orgasms that last from a few minutes to many hours. However, this technique is not without risk of contracting sexually transmitted infections, in particular HIV. A person using his or her finger, with a small wound, to stimulate a woman’s genitals could be infected with HIV found in her vagina’s fluids; likewise regarding a man’s semen containing HIV, which could infect a partner who has a small exposed wound on his or her skin.

Exclusively non-penetrative

Non-penetrative sex may sometimes be divided into acts that are exclusively non-penetrative and those that are not.

Exclusively non-penetrative sexual acts include:

Axillary intercourse: (slang: “bagpiping”, in reference to the underarm manner in which bagpipes are played; directing traffic, or pit-wank, a variant of the term tit-wank, are also terms for axillary intercourse). It is a sexual variant where the penis is inserted in the other person’s armpit.

Bundling: a courtship tradition in some Christian communities that was opposed by the religious right and has largely died out. The two young people were each in a sack tied up at the neck, and put in a bed together for the night.

Erotic massage: rubbing of the body to create pleasure and relaxation. This can be done between two or more people of any gender and sexual orientation. It can involve the use of oils (heated or otherwise) or just the individual’s hands. It is also known as sensual massage.

Footjob: sexually stimulating one individual’s penis with another individual’s feet. In some cases it can be part of a foot fetish. One individual places their feet around the penis and caresses it until orgasm is achieved. Variations where the clitoris is stimulated by feet also occur.

Frot: act of genital-genital rubbing between males (especially penis-to-penis contact).

Handjob: the manual sexual stimulation of another person’s penis, often as a form of mutual masturbation.

Intercrural sex: when the penis is stimulated by placing it between another individual’s thighs. Lubrication may be used to allow the penis to move more freely between the thighs.

Intergluteal sex: stimulation of the penis using the buttocks, often used as a form of mutual masturbation. It differs from anal sex because no penetration of the anus occurs. The penis is stimulated by moving between the buttocks.

Kissing: the touching of one person’s lips against another person’s can be regarded as a sexual act, especially deep kissing (French kissing) where one person inserts his tongue into the partner’s mouth. Kissing may also be done on other parts of the body and is commonly a part of foreplay.

Mammary intercourse: the stimulation of the penis by placing the penis between the breasts and moving the penis up and down to create pleasure.

Stimulation of nipples: when one partner caresses (either manually or orally) the nipples of their partner. Any individual can participate in this act and it can be done in pairs or groups.

Tribadism: a form of lesbian sex where women rub genitalia against each other (either rubbing genitalia together or rubbing one’s genitalia against other parts of another individual’s body).

Non-exclusively non-penetrative

Fingering: stimulation of the vagina, vulva, clitoris in particular, or anus, with the fingers. It is often used as a form of mutual masturbation.

Oral sex: stimulation of the genitals using the mouth and throat. It is known as fellatio when the act is performed on a penis, and cunnilingus when performed on female genitalia. A specific type of oral sex, anilingus, is the stimulation of the anus using the mouth.

Stimulation using a vibrator: a partner or group of individuals may stimulate each other’s genitals using a vibrator.

Men, Do Not Apologize For Cumming Too Soon

Although I feel my sexual experiences, as a woman that has been married for over 20 years, is different from a lot of other sexual experiences, some things have always turned me on.  I really enjoy my husband having extremely fast orgasms.  When he wasn’t my husband, I still enjoyed him not being able to restrain himself.  The fact my body can make him lose control so quickly turns me on much more than him needing to rub his dick back and forth inside me for an hour just to ejaculate.  Even to this day, I enjoy an orgasm, but my favorite part about sex is feeling him cum inside me.  The amount of time it takes to get him off being shorter only makes me feel better.  However, this pleasure is probably because this rarely happens, and when it does, it’s such a treat for me and my ego. I want to know I can make my husband cum in seconds.  I want to know that he lost control because my mouth, vagina, or ass felt so good to him that he couldn’t control his urge to ejaculate inside me.  I also believe that good sex is when two people are totally in tune with each other and if I have an urge to make him cum fast and he responds, I enjoy that much more than I would being pounded for 30 minutes.  Some women may think that it’s a lack of self esteem that makes me happy when he cums quickly.  Or I put my self worth in his ejaculations rather than my own.  I call bullshit.  It’s down to the core of my instincts to want to please my man.  From the first moment I was sexual with him, I just wanted him to feel pleasure from his body touching mine.  Nothing made me feel more loved than being able to make my man melt inside me.  I don’t think this is insecurity or a self worth issue, but more of a woman wanting to be all woman.  I do not get self worth from pretending to have the needs of a man.   Although I love my orgasms, my orgasms are and always have been a bonus.  In my case, my husband will never have to apologize because I felt so good to him that he couldn’t control himself.  That makes me feel amazing.

With all that said above, my relationship and sex life is a bit more complicated than I make it seem.  We have had various routines that prior to sex my husband would ask me if I wanted to orgasm.  Because I could not cum from PIV (penis in vagina) sex, he would go down on me and make me cum prior to having sex.  Obviously this meant, that afterward we would have intercourse, and it was all about his orgasm.   Since I had already gotten off, my experiences and opinions on a man cumming too soon may be much different than yours.  These days I can cum through PIV, so him going longer and being able to hit the right spots is something I really enjoy.  Although I love feeling him cum inside me, I do enjoy him making me cum first.  With communication we still talk prior and if I let him know I want to get high off his dick, he will take his time and make sure to hit all my spots.  Since it took years for us to find what works for us, he appreciates me cumming from his body, the same as I appreciate him cumming from mine.  

With that being said, I am just one woman, with one opinion.  Some women may not feel the same and I can respect that.  Below is an anonymous write up from a girl that has the same line of thinking as me.  If you want to discuss, please comment below.

Every time I feel a guy orgasming, I feel so powerful. Then for some reason, no matter how long they actually lasted, out comes some kind of apology for how they “usually aren’t like this” or “sorry.” An apology and guilt is literally the last thing I want to hear from a guy who just came from my actions! When I’m still hella riled up and fuzzy!

Its an instant turn off and kills my enjoyment of the afterglow or still ongoing sexual moment.

I know that for some reason society focuses the entire act of sex on just penis insertion into vaginas and shames men for not withholding their orgasm. This is wrong and bad.

The correct response is to immediately reach down and start rubbing the clit of who you are with if you really feel you came sooner than you’d like and she didn’t get off. If you came, I’m sure she would LOVE to hear how her pussy got you off so quick and how good she is as you do this. Not one woman is going to complain about this.

If you aren’t up to it in your instant post orgasmic bliss, give it 20 minutes and go again!

The stereotype of women being annoyed at men who last 1 minute comes from the fact that usually men just roll over and go to sleep and stop touching her when he orgasms, ending the whole affair and leaving her hanging.

In general, please don’t enter the self-guilt trip for reaching orgasm between the thighs of your partner. Or down their throat. That IS the objective of sex, after all. Healthier attitudes will improve your sex more than berating yourself every time you cum in less than 20 minutes or some crazy number.

I wonder how the author would feel if a man she was with came too quickly each time they had sex.  Would that still be something he shouldn’t apologize for, or would she start to feel like he put his own pleasure before hers?  

If this happened to me below?  I mean, how can you not be that flattered by a guy so turned on just the tip of your tongue makes him orgasm?!   

Threesome Memoirs: Q&A – Unicorns and Their Safety During Threesomes

Unicorns and Their Safety During Threesomes

I am a 23 year old female and am meeting a couple for drinks next week after we matched and chatted on tinder. They are staying in a hotel nearby, as they are on holiday, and have indicated that we might end up back at the hotel if drinks go well.

Unicorns – how did you know you would be safe when you met couples for threesomes? Not just on a relationship boundaries level, but from purely a ‘will I get kidnapped/raped/killed?’ point of view?

I have often matched with couples on tinder and am keen to try a threesome, but the issue of being outnumbered always puts me off. I am normally pretty spontaneous, experimental and confident when it comes to dating, but some help and advice in this area would be great!

Nessa’s response to safety during threesomes
I suppose you would take the same kind of precautions as if you were heading to any place that would have strangers and alcohol: let someone you know trust know where you’re going and the nature of the event. 

My suggestion is to be on the phone (or even pretend) and when you arrive, say something like, “Alright, I’m here…gotta go. Talk to you later” to let them know that there are people who know your whereabouts. If you think about it, it’s the smart thing to do without letting people you don’t completely trust them. If you went to a club or party alone, you’d probably put it on your calendar, tell your friends (roommate, etc.), or maybe even on social media. I wouldn’t suggest bringing a gun or other type of weapon since that could backfire. However, in your situation, if you want to be discrete, you can ask the hotel’s front desk to call your phone at a certain time or call the room. No matter what you decide to do, being spontaneous doesn’t mean you have to be unsafe.

Ryan’s response to safety during threesomes
Statistically, I’d say meeting a man by himself is far more dangerous than meeting a couple. To get a man on social media that is a psychopath, is much more common than meeting two people, male and female, both psychopaths, both in agreement to do something illegal. Probably not likely. I’d say meeting a couple is the safest thing to do on social media, lol. Couples usually don’t serial kill and rape together. It has happened, but not even in the stratosphere as far as the number of men raping women by themselves.

We have met women before and we felt equally as unsafe because they may end up back at our place, setting us up and plotting something in the future. We have no idea their true intentions. It works both ways. Meet in a public place and if they seem like genuine couple, go back to their place for drinks. Make sure you keep your cell phone on.

We had a girl meet us and we would hang out every so often.  I’d say we got somewhat close and would play together a few times a month.  Eventually we found out that the first time she met us she had a gun in her purse. That freaked me out a little. We don’t know who we are meeting either!

How to Masturbate and hatch eggs in Pokémon Go [ Life Hacks ]

How to Masturbate and hatch eggs in Pokémon Go.

Here is a funny and neat article regarding a sexy secret to hatching eggs in  Pokémon Go. Although the author has calculated the distance of each masturbation, depending on your size, your miles may vary!   And it is also something the ladies can do as well.

I’ve been doing my more-than-average holiday masturbation the past few days. Last holiday I was the lucky receiver of a new Apple Watch, which I haven’t used much aside from to collect walking distance on Pokémon Go. I realized over the last few days that masturbating with the watch on has been getting me 0.4-0.6km walking credit for each fap. I was amazed at finding a productive use of the Apple Watch so I did some quick calculations:

My penis is about 15cm long, which means I am getting a solid 3,300 full base-to-head strokes in to get an average of 0.5km. I’ve surmised that the last 10% of strokes gravitate around the upper half of my shaft and head, though. This means I’m getting somewhere a solid 2,970 full strokes and 330 upper half strokes in per wank. Some of that distance could be me sprinting to get a towel that I’ve inevitably forgotten, though.

Nothing is more rewarding than choking your chicken and turning on Pokémon to see you’ve hatched an egg or two in the process.